200分！如何写好英语求职信？

Question

请指教！
下面是我的英语求职信，但感觉没什么新意，也存在一些表达或者语法上的错误，请帮我在这些方面作一点修改或者给点相关的意见！
谢谢了！
如果能够给出一些有新意或者经典的句子就更好了！

请指点：
Dear sir or madam:

Thanks for reading my resume.

I have graduated from XX University in June 2006 and I am interested and confident in the position you offered.

Firstly, I am a hard-working student and I am always eager to learn more. Although I was not good at English at the beginning，I worked harder than most of the other students for I found learning English was quite an enjoyable thing and most importantly, I didn"t want to fall behind. I gain what I"ve paid finally and became one of the top students in my department. I am ready to learn more which inspires me to go further.

Secondly, when I was learning in the college I mastered the skills of the translation as well as interpretation. Meanwhile, I obtained the postive judgement from my teachers and classmates and certificates of the TEM-4 through hard-working. I hold that the more I love English the more I enjoy it. So I often appear at the English corner where I could communicate with foreigners and friends to my heart’s content.

Thirdly, I participated in various kinds of social work actively. I still could recall some wonderful experiences clearly like being the volunteer in ‘The Committee of Caring Next Generation’ and an interpreter in the ‘2005Volkswagen Pro Tour Grand Finals’. I always try my best to achieve the assignment offered by authority and never forget to share my ideas with my partner. So it’s always the biggest surprise that I got more friends after taking part in the activities. And I really appreciate it.

Fourthly, my feature is optimistic and desirous to communicate with others. Furthermore, my classmates said I am a responsible and trustworthy boy when I was doing my duties in the college position. Not only was I accumulated a lot of experience from my job but also the team spirit. And I am willing to accept innovative ideas and share my personal opinions.

Finally, I love basketball and I’d like to challenge myself in the playground just like in the daily life. I got perfect body through exercise so I can bear going on business frequently.

Give me a chance I will show you my competency and trust me I won’t let you down.

Best wishes!
补充说明一下：复制来的答案我看就免了！我只想请有心的人帮我看看，针对我的提问给我些指点和意见！谢谢合作！

Answer 1

好难啊

Answer 2

我来说几句。既然是英文求职信， 那应该是针对外企或者是对英文有特殊需要的公司。我大概看了你的求职信，语法错误到没有什么，主要是语感语言习惯的问题。你的信里面有太多句子以第一人称 的主格 I 开头， 这是其一；前面最好不要用 firstly secondly... 这样让人感觉很 生硬。写的是求职信，但不一定要写的像信一样。 重点是highlight你的学历，工作经验（如果有的话），还有你的project experience。这些完全可以分条分项的列出而不成段落。这样阅读者会很清晰明确的找到他们想要的东西。语言习惯问题， 我个人认为，如过看求职信的是中国人， 这还好说（因为有相同的语言环境）如果是老外的话就有问题。 teacher 是小学老师的意思。在college or university里，要用了lecturer. classmate 是同学或同班同学的意思，但在大学里人们更喜欢用colleague(虽然金山词霸翻译的是：同事同僚。英文的求职信 无非是在为自己做广告的同时，让人知道你的英语很地道（不是以中国学校的英文教材为标准）。
把你的那些根专业知识和工作经验没关系的东西写成一份短点的cover letter， 然后剩下部分分条分类的写出来。如：
CURRICULUM VITAE

PERSONAL INFOMATION

EDUCATION HISTORY

WORK EXPERIENCE

PROJECT EXPERIENCE

OBJECTIVE

SKILL&ABILITY

HABBITS&INTEREST

在每个大项利再把你自己的内容分条的加进去。这样可以避免在长段落中语序和语感的问题。

我今年大三， 读的是software development 在爱尔兰，我们今年也有例行的在校工作实习（半年）。 我的CV （CURRICULUM VITAE)也是找我的lecturer 帮我检查和改的。也是我和你说的这些。还有，不论你用什么方式写， 最后都要用 一些spell checker 检查一下。我老师说这种拼写错误是致命的：）。

第一次这么认真地回帖， 加不加分无所谓， 希望真地可以帮你。
祝你早日找到好工作。如果还有具体的问题，可以m我。
lxwzhj@gmail.com

Ps: because i am in the college lab, so the chinese input wasn't as good as at home, so for any typing error, do't mind...

Answer 3

路过！

Answer 4

谢谢你的简历,感觉不错,可让我作参考

Answer 5

首先，要先问一问楼主你这封求职信是否是回应应征广告。如果是，该招聘部门或主管肯定会收到很多求职信，他们一般只关注简历CV或Resume。

实话说，你的求职信太长了，应该尽量简化，只挑一两件你认为最能表达出你的才华和能力，讲讲就够了。还有，如果你能点出你对该公司的认识，抓住该招聘职位的要点，你的面试机会将会大一些。

对症下药是写求职信的重点，是要花一点心思的。

我把格式和内容改改：

Dear sir or madam:

Thanks for reading my resume.

I have graduated from XX University in June 2006 and I am interested and confident in the position you offered.

The position you offered, XXX, is what I wish to persue in my career, being that my English-major degree qualification and numerous achievements including being a volunteer in ‘The Committee of Caring Next Generation’ and an interpreter in the ‘2005 Volkswagen Pro Tour Grand Finals’can measure up to most of the requirements listed in your job advertisement.

I believe your company's established networks and nation-wide service provide a great opportunity for me to communicate with many others, for which I enjoy to meet.

(可以找出该公司的特点或近期的事迹，稍微讲讲，已表示你对该行业或公司的关注。）

I look forward to hearing from you and would be more than happy to come to meet you and show you some of my translation works and other achievements.

Yours faithfully，

不能用Best Wishes，你要祝福谁啊！